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<  Around The Stove  ~  Off-colour Jokes Thread
Kev
PostPosted: Thu Sep 01, 2005 6:21 pm Reply with quote
Posts: 589 Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 2:55 pm Location: Kobe, Japan
Q: What do you give a dead baby for Christmas?

A: A dead puppy. :twisted:



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On my first day of meeting Gapper I was wearing ripped tie-dyed jeans, blue converse and a Meat Puppets t-shirt. It wasn't until a year later that I saw Scott Cleeder shove a lightbulb up his arse.
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Kev
PostPosted: Thu Sep 01, 2005 6:24 pm Reply with quote
Posts: 589 Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 2:55 pm Location: Kobe, Japan
8) Knock-knock.

:o Who's there?

8) Little Boy Blue.

:? Little Boy Blue who?

8) Michael Jackson.



_________________
On my first day of meeting Gapper I was wearing ripped tie-dyed jeans, blue converse and a Meat Puppets t-shirt. It wasn't until a year later that I saw Scott Cleeder shove a lightbulb up his arse.
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Kev
PostPosted: Fri Sep 02, 2005 4:45 pm Reply with quote
Posts: 589 Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 2:55 pm Location: Kobe, Japan
My goodness, how everyone has raised the level of social ettiquite and overall decency during my abscence, *monocle breaks:* :shock:



_________________
On my first day of meeting Gapper I was wearing ripped tie-dyed jeans, blue converse and a Meat Puppets t-shirt. It wasn't until a year later that I saw Scott Cleeder shove a lightbulb up his arse.
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Snuff
PostPosted: Fri Sep 02, 2005 5:11 pm Reply with quote
Whats the opposite of Christopher Reeves??

- Christopher Walken!

Ahhhh... lets hope Christopher Reeves didn't have to take the stairway to heaven...


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Kev
PostPosted: Fri Sep 02, 2005 5:46 pm Reply with quote
Posts: 589 Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 2:55 pm Location: Kobe, Japan
Why is getting a blowjob from Pauline Hanson like walking on a tightrope?

They both feel great until you look down!



_________________
On my first day of meeting Gapper I was wearing ripped tie-dyed jeans, blue converse and a Meat Puppets t-shirt. It wasn't until a year later that I saw Scott Cleeder shove a lightbulb up his arse.
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Snuff
PostPosted: Mon Sep 12, 2005 3:04 pm Reply with quote
A spokesman for 60's rock band 'The Animals' has come out and made a public apology... apparently 'There isn't a house in New Orleans...'


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gappman
PostPosted: Thu Sep 22, 2005 4:57 pm Reply with quote
Posts: 760 Joined: Fri Mar 11, 2005 9:59 am Location: Washington DCWebsite: http://www.myspace.com/gappman
didnt deserve its own thread so I decided to tack it on here.... enjoy... or not

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/internet4porn



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BUSH DON'T CARE ABOUT BLACK PEOPLE!!!!!! - Kanye West, Sept 2005

I proudly wore white sneakers, black jeans, and my G'n'R tour tee shirt to my first day of university in 1993 ;)
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Kev
PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 4:40 pm Reply with quote
Posts: 589 Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 2:55 pm Location: Kobe, Japan
A woman is in labour and is having terrible pains. She' sweating and screaming and it takes her a couple of days to give birth. When she finally delivers the baby she's delirious and says to the doctor, "Doctor, what day is it today, I want to know my baby's birthday?" The doctor picks up the baby, cuts the umbillicle cord and throws the baby SPLAT into the wall. There is a splattering of blood and the crushed baby slides slowly down the wall of the operating room. Doctor smilingly, turns to the mother and says...April Fools Day, the baby was already dead!"



_________________
On my first day of meeting Gapper I was wearing ripped tie-dyed jeans, blue converse and a Meat Puppets t-shirt. It wasn't until a year later that I saw Scott Cleeder shove a lightbulb up his arse.
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Snuff
PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 6:03 pm Reply with quote
*cleans softdrink from monitor*


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Kev
PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 6:43 pm Reply with quote
Posts: 589 Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 2:55 pm Location: Kobe, Japan
Quote:
*cleans softdrink from monitor*
Obviously a gentleman of taste. 8)



_________________
On my first day of meeting Gapper I was wearing ripped tie-dyed jeans, blue converse and a Meat Puppets t-shirt. It wasn't until a year later that I saw Scott Cleeder shove a lightbulb up his arse.
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unknownrockstar
PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 11:15 pm Reply with quote
Posts: 242 Joined: Sat Jun 25, 2005 10:35 pm Location: Wellington, New ZealandWebsite: http://postmoderncore.com
A bloke walks into a bar in New Zealand and orders a shandy.

All the Kiwis sitting around the bar look up, expecting to see another Australian visitor.

The barman says, "You ain't from around here, are ya?"

The guy says, "No, I'm from Canada."

The bartender says, "What do you do in Canada?"

The guy says, "I'm a taxidermist."

The bartender says, "A tixidermist? What the hick is a tixidermist? Do you drive a tixi?"

"No, a taxidermist doesn't drive a taxi. I mount animals."

The bartender grins and yells, "He's okay boys. He's one of us."



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MB: So what's with all the tanks?
BC: How else do you get from the submarine to the hotel?
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Kev
PostPosted: Thu Oct 20, 2005 11:44 am Reply with quote
Posts: 589 Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 2:55 pm Location: Kobe, Japan
[quote="unknownrockstar"]A bloke walks into a bar in New Zealand and orders a shandy.

I thought this was going to be about Dave Drainage!



_________________
On my first day of meeting Gapper I was wearing ripped tie-dyed jeans, blue converse and a Meat Puppets t-shirt. It wasn't until a year later that I saw Scott Cleeder shove a lightbulb up his arse.
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Kev
PostPosted: Sun Dec 11, 2005 3:33 pm Reply with quote
Posts: 589 Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 2:55 pm Location: Kobe, Japan
Q. Why don't blind people like to sky dive?
>A. Because it scares the hell of the dog.



_________________
On my first day of meeting Gapper I was wearing ripped tie-dyed jeans, blue converse and a Meat Puppets t-shirt. It wasn't until a year later that I saw Scott Cleeder shove a lightbulb up his arse.
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wanker pune
PostPosted: Wed Dec 14, 2005 4:54 pm Reply with quote
Posts: 196 Joined: Tue May 03, 2005 6:56 pm Location: Crapital ShittyWebsite: http://www.myspace.com/hatebeat
A fur seal walks into a club...



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Founder of the Paul Leary solo Squad
Quote:
Come if you're cool... or burnable for that matter :lol:
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Kev
PostPosted: Thu Dec 15, 2005 3:12 am Reply with quote
Posts: 589 Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 2:55 pm Location: Kobe, Japan
Quote:
A fur seal walks into a club...
A giraffe walks into a bar and says, "Hey, highballs are on me!"



_________________
On my first day of meeting Gapper I was wearing ripped tie-dyed jeans, blue converse and a Meat Puppets t-shirt. It wasn't until a year later that I saw Scott Cleeder shove a lightbulb up his arse.
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